Sad or Desperation?

Hello everyone. 

As when I write this tonight, I'm actually not feeling good. 

I'm sad, and been through this for quite sometimes. 

Maybe quite desperate too. 

Can't really talk why I feel this way. 

Because this is something that I can't fix by my self. 

Don't ask how many times I cried. 

I cried and cried and cried. 

At first it still ok. 

Then day change into weeks. 

Weeks change into months. 

Months change into years. 

I start feeling uneasy. 

People asked, I just brush out their question. 

Act like, I'm okay with it. 

I handle it good. 

I don't have any problem with it. 

In reality. 

I feel like I'm really sad and disappointed. 

Disappointed with my self. 

What's wrong with me???

Maybe I'm not good?

am I just a failure? 

Everyone had it easy. 

All of my friend have it already. 

Just me. 

it is just me. 

Must be something wrong with me. 

That's why it is hard for me. 

All I can do now just praying. 

Pray, asked God to give me miracle. 

If there's no miracle, maybe just a lil bit of kindness. 

I believe God timing is perfect. 

And everything will be beautiful in His time. 

All these tears will turn into laughs. 

All this sadness will turn into joy. 

Good nite everyone.